Talk to Yourself, Say Your Name Out Loud

So…umm. Yes, I talk to myself out loud. But I wanna talk about hype today. You know, that thing we wait for, the cheers, the claps, the “you’ve got this!” from the people around us.

See, the point is… sometimes it never comes.

Growing up, I was always considered the “braniac” of the family. Everyone expected me to get the best grades, to pass every year, to just… excel. And I did. I had the top grades in school, but do you know what I remember the most? Not the pride, not the celebration, but the silence.

I remember one year so vividly. Everyone in the family was congratulating all the kids who had moved up a year. There were smiles, hugs, claps, “well done!” flying around. But when it came to me, someone outside the immediate family asked, “What about Carla?” And the answer? “Oh, we don’t need to mention her, of course she’s moving up, she always does.”

Like it was a given.

Like it wasn’t worth celebrating.

And maybe that sounds like a small thing. Maybe it sounds like I’m complaining about nothing. But when you’re a child, when you’re putting your heart into something, when you’re carrying the weight of expectations, you want someone in your corner. You want someone to say, “Wow, look at you. I’m proud of you.”

But I didn’t have that. At school, when friends asked what my parents or family did to celebrate my achievements, I had nothing to say. And that was the moment I realised I was on my own.

See, the point is… however “good” you are at something, however much people assume you’ll succeed, it still matters to be seen. To be acknowledged. To be hyped up.

And that’s why I started to be my own cheerleader and talk to myself in the third person out loud. I’d tell myself, “Ok Carla, you can do this. You’re brilliant.”

“Carla, you’ve got this.”

Because waiting for someone else to validate you, to cheer you on, to hype you up… it might never happen. But you can do it for yourself. And research shows that when you talk to yourself in the third person, it actually rewires your brain, reduces stress, and helps you make better decisions.

So instead of drowning in silence, or in emotions that no one else seems to notice, you can pull yourself up and remind yourself, by name, that you are capable. You’ve got this.

And that’s what I did.

I started cheering for myself.

Because at the end of the day, the loudest cheerleader you’ll ever have… needs to be you.

C, the point is… sometimes you’ve got to clap the loudest for yourself