Love Should Feel Like Partnership, Not Parenthood

So…umm. Let’s be honest, sometimes in relationships you catch yourself wondering: Does he want a partner or is he looking for mum? It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s little things that creep in, until suddenly you’re carrying the whole load while he sits back like it’s normal.

At first it looks harmless. He says he “can’t” cook or clean, like somehow all of that skipped him in life. But he’s got the energy to master every video game, track every football score, and fix the things he actually cares about. See the point is, incompetence isn’t always real. Sometimes it’s just convenience.

Then come the tests. Not outright exams, but those sly little moments where your love is measured by how much you’ll do for him. “Can you grab me a drink?” turns into “If you loved me, you’d…” And before you know it, your worth is tied up in service, not connection.

And he has the perfect excuse for never stepping up: “You’re better at it.” Which sounds like a compliment until you realise it’s a get-out card. Why bother trying when you’ll do it faster, better, and without complaining? That’s not partnership. That’s manipulation dressed up as flattery.

Try setting a boundary, though, and watch how quickly you become “selfish” or “cold.” Suddenly your needs aren’t just inconvenient, they’re betrayals. But boundaries are not cruelty. They’re respect. And if someone makes you feel guilty for protecting yourself, they’re not protecting you.

And the cruelest part? He gives you affection when you’re pouring yourself out, but the second you need him there’s complete silence. He suddenly Disappears. You realise the “love” was never love at all, just a reward system for obedience.

See the point is, if you ever feel like you’re raising him instead of loving him, you’re not his partner, you’re his parent. And no woman deserves to carry that role in a relationship.

Love should make you feel equal, not exhausted. It should grow you, not drain you. And it should never require you to lose yourself just to keep it alive.

What do you think? Have you ever caught yourself parenting instead of partnering? Share your thoughts in the comments or send this to a friend who might need the reminder.