How do you do that ? Well, first you need to understand that to honour does not mean to obey. If you grow up in a reasonable household then it’s good to obey your parents when you’re a child because they mostly have your best interest in mind or heart and are trying to keep you alive and prevent you from killing yourself and maybe others. But to obey your parents is not a commandment nor is it a sin if you don’t do it. Having said that, it’s a skill worth holding and sometimes it may save your life or sanity. But that’s another story.
Let’s focus on what you can do to actively honour your parents. Actually, before that we need to understand what honour really means. One of the ways The Oxford Dictionary defines honour is “something/somebody a person or thing that causes others to respect and admire something/somebody” and that’s the closest I can find to explain what Honouring your parents in reality is. In your actions ask yourself how your parents are going to look whenever people find out what you have done or are doing. It’s the nature of the job, parents want respect and children want to be loved.
Make your mum and dad look good
by simply being a good person and people will make the connection. Well I do. I always say I blame the parents 😀
Let them know you understand what they have done for you. Say thanks every here and there every now and then for specific or just general things
Listen to your parents. Specifically to their story and stories because you will understand where they are coming from and so much of their actions and it will help you understand your upbringing and yourself even.
Tell them your story. Sometimes parents and children don’t communicate much due to well life but then they end up not knowing much about their children because as you go through life and live and gain different experiences your outtake on life changes and your mind changes so tell your parents your experiences and your take on them
Show some excitement about your parents life. About whatever it is they are telling you they’re into at the moment. There was a time that they were the ones having to feign enthusiasm over your play or your dance recital or your singing or your playing piano or guitar even though it pained their ears 👂🤣, and even the latest pokemon or digimon craze and those dinosaurs 🦕 and or bugs you so loved.
Don’t expect your parents to bail you out. Your parents worked hard for you to have a good life and it pains them to see that you are careless and can’t handle simple responsibility. It makes them worry about you and your future and makes them restless to think that you are not stable in life. Plus it reflects badly on them if you get into debt and need them to bail you out.
Sometimes, pay for something it means the world to your parents when you pay for some of their bills. It just does, and it reflects so positively to them also.
Try to keep their values. I’m not talking about voting for the same party as your parents but more in the manner that you treat other people, you care for your siblings and your family and the planet and obviously your neighbours and 🙄 God. You know, The big things in life.
See, the point is... to honour requires a lot more from you than to obey. Anyone can obey, but it requires true commitment, love and respect to factor someone’s honour, to factor how your actions will affect someone else before you do anything. If you are able to keep this commandment then you have a healthy attachment with your parents and that’s precious.
Now look, it does not mean you agree with everything they did or do or that they are just so nice and upstanding citizens but that you recognise your part in this relationship, and again, That, is precious.
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